The other day, my 12-year-old son looked at me and said, “I feel very counted on.” His words stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t just the statement—it was the weight behind it.
I asked him to explain, and he shared that he felt overwhelmed. He was juggling responsibilities at home, commitments to his teammates, and his role in the community events we organize together. His realization hit me hard: my little boy is growing up, and he’s starting to feel the weight of responsibility.
I took a deep breath and told him, “Well, yes, you are counted on. That’s part of growing up. As you get older, your responsibilities grow, too. You’ll always have people counting on you—your family, your teammates, your community. And while it can feel heavy sometimes, it’s actually a good thing. It means you’re aware of the world around you. It means you care, and you’re stepping into the kind of person who makes a positive difference.”
But as I said those words, my heart was breaking a little. My baby is learning to navigate the transition from childhood to the next stage of life. He’s facing the reality that carefree days of summer camps and playing sports with friends are gradually being joined by bigger responsibilities. It’s a shift we all go through, but watching it happen to him—my boy—felt like time was slipping through my fingers.
At the same time, I knew this was an important conversation. I validated his feelings, telling him it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. I reminded him that life is always changing and the demands will increase, but so will his capacity to handle them. “It’s like adding zeros to your debt and your income,” I explained. “It might seem bigger, but you’ll have more resources to work with as you grow.”
As we talked, I could see his shoulders relax just a bit. He smiled when I reminded him that, for now, he’s still 12, and we’re grateful he gets to enjoy these special years. We talked about balancing responsibilities with moments of joy, and I left him with this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'”
Life will always have its challenges, but it’s how we handle them that shapes who we are. And watching my son rise to the occasion—even at 12—is one of the greatest privileges of being his parent.